Following the anticipated release of her book Motherdom, the creative director of VAAI sat down with author, Alex Bollen, for an interview to discuss the complexities of being a woman. From navigating motherhood and identity to addressing the unique challenges and triumphs that come with the female experience, the conversation revealed much about the journey behind both the book and the author herself.
In this candid interview, we explore the themes of Motherdom, the inspiration behind the work, and the powerful message it conveys to women everywhere. Through personal anecdotes, insightful reflections, and a discussion on the role of women in today’s world, this conversation offers a glimpse into the thoughts of a woman who is not only debunking motherhood myths but is also reshaping the narrative around what it means to be a woman in contemporary society.
Here’s how the interview went:
"Your book explores the theme of motherhood—what inspired you to write it? How has your own mother influenced your creativity?"
"I wrote the book because I was fed up with all the blame and guilt mothers get! I’m a researcher and when I started looking into the science behind what mothers are told, I was shocked to find how flimsy it is. I’ve been a postnatal practitioner for more than a decade and have seen how hard women can be on themselves about getting things ‘wrong’ or finding motherhood a struggle. I want to challenge what I call ‘Good Mother myths’. I argue that we need to appreciate all that mothers do for their children instead of constantly finding fault. We also need to do so much better in providing children and their families with what they need to thrive.
My mum has been a huge influence on me. She was a health visitor and one of my earliest memories is watching her weigh babies. I’m sure that’s why I ended up going into postnatal work. After she died, I found a research report she had written in 1981 for her local health authority, ‘Post-Natal Groups – Is There a Need?’ I was very proud to quote from her work in my book. My mum was very creative. She was brilliant at sewing and used to make wonderful clothes for my brother and me when we were little. Sadly, I haven’t inherited her talents – it’s skipped a generation to my daughter who now has my mum’s sewing machine - but she did teach me to appreciate beautifully made clothes (look at the pockets and hems!!). I know she would have thoroughly approved of my VAAI book launch outfit."
"What advice would you give to a woman in her 20s about navigating this stage of life in the 21st century?"
"Your twenties are such a pivotal time. It’s the start of adult life and I still remember the heady mix of feeling excited and scared. But I also think life is more difficult for young women now. Housing is so expensive and good jobs are hard to come by. Social media can be toxic. We’re in a backlash moment against women’s rights, with young men more likely than older men to believe that the main role of women in society is to be good wives and mothers.
I have two pieces of advice. The first is the importance of friends, in particular the people who love you, understand you and have your back. You will help each other navigate this stage of your lives and the stages you have to come. The second is advice I give to all my postnatal groups – apply the Misery Test. If something is making you miserable – could be social media, your job, a relationship – it’s a sign to pause and consider doing things differently. I could add lots more advice but I also think that mistakes are inevitable and we can learn a lot from them!"
"How has the definition of confidence changed for you over the years, and what does it mean to you to be confident?"
"It’s such an interesting question and a hard one to answer. I don’t think my definition has changed. Ultimately, I think that confidence is about feeling comfortable in your own skin and trusting yourself. I have definitely become more confident as I’ve got older. I know I am going to make mistakes and I am ok with that. I have learned to care less about what people think of me if they’re not an important part of my life. Although it hasn’t always felt like it at the time, navigating difficult life experiences has also helped build my confidence.
I have to mention clothes as well because this is a fashion blog. As my mum always used to tell me during my teenage years when I was obsessed with high street retailers, you will stand taller if you’re wearing good quality clothes which are well cut and a good fit!"
Thank you Alex!
It's clear that Motherdom is more than just a book—it's a bold, honest exploration of womanhood, motherhood, and the complexities that shape every woman’s journey. Through her words, the author challenges societal norms, embraces vulnerability, and empowers women to reclaim their narratives.
We hope this interview has given you a deeper understanding of the themes and inspirations behind Motherdom, and perhaps sparked some introspection on your own experiences as a woman.
If you haven’t yet, be sure to pick up a copy of Motherdom and dive into a powerful story that speaks to the heart of what it means to be a woman in today’s world.
IG @alexbollen
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